The Unlikely Heroes
by Adro14
Summary: A Necromatic Prankster, a Proud yet very confused Barbarian, and a moody Assassin, and a shy sorceress all form an very unlikely companionship. Will these 4 heroes be able to defeat Duriel? Also written by RedLady... : )
1. A Barbarian Never Misses . . .

Let's Go Kill Diablo!  
  
By: Adro13 and RedLady  
  
[Some stuff in this story has been changed for our convenience. Nothing major though. Also we do not own Diablo.]  
  
[You can tell when we have switched authors by this sign. ~*~ We know that the point of view isn't always persistent, but we hope you enjoy and review anyway.]  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: A Barbarian Never Misses . . .  
  
"I'll bet you ten thousand gold pieces that I can throw these two daggers into the bull's-eye of the dart board over there." The Barbarian said to a local drunken while drinking beer in Lut Gholein's bar. "And what will I get in return if you miss?" Said the Drunken. "You can have my Beast Picket Lochaber Axe that I got from a Necromancer."  
  
"I admit that's a pretty good investment." Said the Drunken. "But I don't think that's worth ten thousand gold pieces."  
  
The Barbarian said, "I shall also give you my Beast Eye Ring that I got from a sorceress."  
  
Everyone in the bar goes silent. Mumbling phrases are heard throughout the bar, some of which are:  
  
"What's up with the Beast items? Is he a Druid?"  
  
"He's an Idiot! That's what he is!"  
  
"He'll never make it!"   
  
The Barbarian picks up two daggers, one in each hand. And throws both of them at the dart board as everyone watches in amazement. Everyone gasps and the two daggers hit the wall about a foot away from the dartboard. Everyone starts laughing. The Drunken says, "Looks like you got some rare items to give up!"  
  
The Barbarian quickly looks around the room and sees a dark shape slipping into the shadows. He mumbles something under his breath, takes out a javelin, lights it on fire, sees the dark shape again, and throws multiple javelins in the direction pinning the shape to the wall.   
  
  
~*~  
  
  
She watched in annoyance as the Barbarian bragged about his throwing abilities. She didn't like when people bragged about their abilities, as she liked to stick to the shadows and surprise her enemies with her skills, not brag about them. She was secretive because she had to be. She was an Assassin.   
  
Right when he challenged one of the drunks to a bet, a mischievous plan formed in her mind. Why not make the Barbarian loose the bet? She laughed to herself as the Barbarian lifted the daggers preparing to throw. She used her mental prowess to throw the daggers off their original course and into the wall. Her taunting laugh was lost amongst the laughter of the whole bar as everyone laughed at the Barbarian, humiliating him. She laughed one more time, but then saw him looking around the room suspiciously. She could tell he knew something was up. She quietly started to back away into the far dark corners of the room, but it was too late. He saw her and she was about to flee when all the sudden she found herself pinned to the wall!  
  
She looked around confused and saw that there were javelins surrounding her, pinning her to the wall. One was on fire above her head. Some were so close to her body just another inch and she would have been hit!   
  
She looked up and saw the Barbarian smirking at her walking in her direction. One of the rules of being an assassin is to never get caught. She struggled, but the javelins had caught her cloak. She glared at him challengingly still pinned to the wall as he continued his gallant walk in her direction.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
The Barbarian started walking toward this person in the shadows. When he reached her, he asked "Who are you and why were you slinking in the shadows instead of laughing like the rest of them?"  
  
The woman pulled out a small metallic object and with one swift hand motion chopped off all the javelins and blew out the torch above her head. The woman brushed off the dust on her legs stood up and replied, "I am Effie and I am here to investigate the path of the Dark Wanderer, and have come here after a long travel west, who might you be?"  
  
The Barbarian after getting over the shock of seeing his precious javelins chopped to pieces replies "I am Fury, and I have traveled by Warriv's caravan after defeating Andariel also following the Path of the Dark wanderer, Diablo.   
  
The Assassin yelled, "DIABLO? WHY ARE YOU GAMBLING AGAINST DRUNKARDS INSTEAD OF FINDING AND KILLING HIM?"   
  
The Barbarian answered a bit sheepishly, "Well . . . , eh heh, I needed the money to buy a new short spear from Elzix... But what are you doing ruining a Barbarians bet?"  
  
"How do you know it was me and not your own clumsiness?"  
  
"Because a Barbarian never misses . . ."  
  
"Well I did use my psychic abilities." She said sweetly.  
  
"Well in that case you have to buy me new javelins and tell the whole bar it was you who messed up my throw!"  
  
"I'll buy you new javelins, but I am not telling the whole bar what I did!"  
  
"Well then you must tell the Drunken so I can get my ten thousand gold pieces. And give me one of your rare items."  
  
The Assassin says, "OK I'll tell the Drunken and you can have my Beast Lose Boots that I've been saving for a special occasion."  
  
"Yes! This will complete my collection! Thank you." The Barbarian said.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Please R&R.   
  
--RedLady : )  
  
--Adro13 :^) 


	2. Sewer Rats

Chapter 2: Sewer Rats  
  
That night she thought about the whole ordeal that had just taken place. Normally she wouldn't have given anybody anything. But she felt guilty for making him lose his bet even though she still thought he was a braggart. She walked out of her room she had rented at the tavern owned by Atma. As she walked down the stairs she heard someone crying. She peered into the now darkened and deserted bar to see Atma crying into her hands. A compassion filled Effie's heart and she instinctively walked over to the older woman to comfort her.   
  
"What's wrong?" She said peering sideways at the woman.  
  
Atma surprised by Effie, looked up fearfully. "I'm sorry if I woke you Miss. It's just when I get like this I am oblivious to my surroundings."  
  
"What made you like this?" Effie asked politely as possible.  
  
Atma ignored her question and seemed to ponder something.  
  
"You're a warrior right?" She asked looking Effie over.  
  
"Yes. I guess." Effie answered not sure where this was leading.   
  
"I don't expect this of you, but if you would help me I would be grateful."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"In the sewers below our city, there lurks a horrid creature that hungers for human flesh. The creature has killed many, including my son and my husband." She said sadly looking down at her quenched fist. "If you destroy it, I will reward you. Please be careful though, that beast has taken enough from us already. The sewer entrance is through the trap door just up the street."   
  
She turned and put her face into her hands again as she silently sobbed.  
  
"I will kill this creature!" Effie declared, but wasn't sure if Atma heard her or not.  
  
"Who? What?" A drunken voice said behind her. It was some big guy sitting at a table that must have just woken up from his drunken slumber. "Your gonna kill that sewer rat?"  
  
She nodded not really wanting to talk to this guy. He got up and walked over to her. "We need more hero's like you." He held out his hand but she ignored it just wanting to get away because . . . he smelled bad.   
  
"I'm Geglash. Atma tells everybody she meets to go into the sewers. She already told this nifty Barbarian the same thing. I wonder if she actually believes ya'll can do it?"  
  
Then he sat down on the table, put his head down, and went to sleep again.  
  
Effie decided to try and get some sleep. She had a big day tomorrow.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
The Barbarian woke up to the Assassin standing over him. "Time to go!" She says.  
  
"Wha?" Fury said groggily. "Where?"  
  
"To the sewers silly! We gotta go kill Radament and avenge Atma's family."  
  
"Oh that. You think we will find anything useful there?"  
  
"Doesn't matter if we find anything useful! We gotta avenge her family!"  
  
"Girls." Fury mutters under his breath.  
  
Effie snaps, "What'd you say?"  
  
The Barbarian replied, "Nothing. Let's go."  
  
The Barbarian and Assassin walk down into the bar and Fury orders eggs and orange juice. The bar tender says, "What would you be having miss?"  
  
Effie says, "I'll just be having a slice of toast."  
  
Fury gobbled up his breakfast as Effie nibbled at her toast.   
  
"Let's go!" The Barbarian said rushed.   
  
When they got to the sewers Fury comments, "Hmm. Must be more of a rat palace instead of a sanitation system."  
  
Effie laughed at his joke quietly. As they were walking into the sewers they suddenly hear a shuffling noise. Fury readies his short spear and javelin as Effie pulls out some strange metallic devices. Effie turns to Fury saying, "I'll lay down my traps and you can taunt the monsters into coming here."  
  
"But how can I taunt the monsters if I don't know what they are?"  
  
"Just try it!"   
  
Fury Screamed "!@##^*)&*%#+@!!"   
  
Effie said "Whoa! And I thought I knew every word in the cursing book, but you've said some that I've never heard before. I didn't know that you barbarians were like that!"   
  
Just then they heard loud shuffling of feet and loud moans and then saw a horde of skeletons and zombies come rushing toward them. A few seconds later there were huge flashes of white and blue light and the smell of sizzling bone and flesh as Effie's lightning traps went to work.   
  
"Nice" Fury said amazed. Just then the traps disappeared and more zombies were coming after them.   
  
"Uh oh," Fury yelled and then started throwing spears at a super unique monster called Dark Elder.   
  
"Hiyah! Hah! Yah!" Effie yelled, as she started slicing and dicing through the zombies who were WAY too tall for her, as Fury noticed as little glowing balls circled around her.   
  
"HELP ME," Fury screamed as Dark Elder was pummeling him.   
  
"Hold on!" Effie yelled and then sliced two more zombies, she then released a bloodcurdling scream and kicked Dark Elder sending an explosion and starting fires all around them.   
  
"Well Shorty the not-very-tall, that takes care of that." Fury sighed.   
  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, STINKY THE UNCLEAN?"   
  
"Hey I resent that Effie, at least I don't wear a black leather loin cloth!"   
  
"You're right, you wear a brown moldy cloth one!" Effie retorted. Then they started fighting each other trading insults and making a LOT of noise.   
  
Meanwhile a Necromancer who had heard the whole battle got very angry. He thought to himself, "That's it! First my minions don't obey me, then they lost the ability to be unsummoned, they even fought amongst themselves for armor and weapons, which I so CAREFULLY divided amongst them, but this is the last straw. If they're gonna start a war then it's up to me to destroy them so I can have some peace and quiet and finish my studies."   
  
He then jumped out of the hole in the wall, which he called his home, and ran towards the spot were Fury and Effie were fighting. He summoned a wall of teeth and was about to release them away from his body when he realized that it was just two humans fighting.  
  
"YOU two made all this noise?" He snorted. Effie and Fury who were in an arm grapple turned to meet this new threat. Fury yelled angrily, "A necromancer? What are you doing here?"   
  
"I am Adrian and those grim ward totem poles you've set up are the remains of my minions which I was gonna kill anyway..."   
  
Then Effie yelled "Your minions? Why were they trying to kill us?" Just as Fury was about to explain that he HAD taunted them, Adrian said, "Recently I have lost all control over them and when I heard all the noise you were making I decided to end their mischief."   
  
"I've had an idea" Effie said, "Maybe you can't control them because they are under Radamant's Influence!"   
  
"Who's Radament?" Adrian asked.   
  
Fury replied, "Radament is a mummy who we were sent to kill by Atma the Barkeeper."   
  
Adrian screamed dramatically, "WHAT? A MUMMY IS IN MY LAIR?! WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? LETS GO KILL IT!" Then he calmed down some and said "And maybe I can find out how he controlled all my minions."  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
"I can't believe you didn't know about Radament." Effie was saying to the necromancer completely ignoring Fury. "Haven't you heard all the havoc he's been causing the town of Lut Gholein?"  
  
"No. I've been too busy trying to control my minion's again. I thought I had perfected the art, but when they started to act on their own will's I was getting suspicious, but also nervous that I was losing my edge."  
  
"Then are you at least aware that Diablo is one the rampage again?"  
  
"DIABLO! No way!"  
  
"Yes way." Fury said.   
  
"He must have something to do with this Radament." Adrian the Necromancer wondered to himself.  
  
"Duh!" Effie said. Adrian just ignored her pondering his own thoughts.   
  
"He must be destroyed."   
  
"That's the plan." Fury commented.  
  
"Yep." Effie added in.  
  
"You two are on a quest to destroy Diablo?"  
  
"And anything else evil." Effie said clutching her weapon.  
  
"Then may I ask your permission to join you two in your quest to destroy this evil?"  
  
"Sure." Effie said. She could use all the help she could get and with a Necromancer and Barbarian helping her would make the job much easier.  
  
"I guess you can come along. Are you sure you can help us though?" Fury said hesitantly.  
  
"I assure you sir, I have powerful curses."  
  
"Cool." Effie said and smiled at Adrian sweetly.   
  
"What was all that noise you two were making anyway?" Adrian just had to ask.   
  
"He called me short!"  
  
"She called me stinky!"  
  
They glared at each other again till Adrian said, "I don't want to get involved in this argument, so let's just go find Radament."  
  
"Right." Effie said.  
  
"Of course." Fury said and then commented to the Necromancer "I still can't believe she called me stinky. Do you think I smell?" He said sniffing at his armpits.   
  
"Why are you asking me this? I live in a sewer."  
  
"Oh yeah." Fury said accidentally stepping on a rat.   
  
"Eeeep!" The rat said and ran away leaving its tail behind.  
  
"Woops." Fury said sheepishly.  
  
Effie led the way deeper and deeper into the sewer pretending that she hadn't heard anything, but smiled to herself in mild amusement. This was going to be quite the adventure. And she loved adventure.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Tells us how we did. Review please.  
  
  
: )   
  
  
:^) 


	3. Radament and the Beer

Chapter 3: Radament and the Beer  
  
  
  
"Mummies!"  
  
Another group of Mummies and skeletons were coming after them.  
  
"Why are you screaming Adrian? Aren't you supposed to be good with that type of stuff?" Fury asked.  
  
"Oh yeah!" He said.  
  
He summoned up a big wall of bone in front of the mummies and skeletons. And then started mumbling to himself.  
  
"Ok! Everybody stand back." He said.  
  
"All who have died here shall now release their anger unto our enemies!"  
  
He put his hands up and white stuff started coming out of the walls and ground. Soon there was a big gigantic white ball in his hand. This ball started wailing and screaming and vibrated as if it wanted to jump out of his hands. The necromancer whispered to himself, "Release!" And the big white ball went hurdling toward the undead.  
  
BOOM! There is a big crash of bones and spirits tearing up the undead people into lots of shreds and stuff.  
  
"That should take care of them." The Necromancer said smugly.  
  
"That was so cool!" Effie commented looking at the mess in awe.  
  
Fury said, "Except for the fact that there is still some left."  
  
"What! But, that's impossible!" The Necromancer exclaimed.  
  
Soon there was a whole army of undead again. Adrian started mumbling to himself and hurdled all the bone shards on the ground after the undead shredding them to pieces . . . again.  
  
Just then a skeleton got up from the ground.  
  
Fury exclaimed, "What unholy thing is this!"  
  
Adrian started mumbling to himself again, waved his hand, pointed at the corpses, and they all exploded.  
  
"Now that's just gross!" Effie shouted.  
  
Just then little black balls started floating. Adrian screamed to Effie,  
  
"DUCK!"  
  
Effie looked around and asked "Where?" and got hit by one of the black balls.  
  
"OW!" She yelped.  
  
She then summoned a wall of spinning blades as the Necromancer summoned a wall of bone. The Barbarian said, "What about me? I want to summon a wall of some sort too!" He then got hit by one of the floating balls.  
  
Adrian screamed, "We gotta find out where these things are coming from. And don't you have iron skin or something Fury?"  
  
Fury said embarrassed, "I've only gotten as far as leather skin."  
  
Adrian started mumbling to himself, "Amateurs." And he started running to the source of the black balls.  
  
"AH! IT'S RADAMENT!" he screamed.  
  
"How do you know?" Effie asked wincing in pain from the hit to her earlier.  
  
"BECAUSE IT'S A BIG GIGANTIC MUMMY, THAT'S HOW! MAYBE YOU TWO WANNA COME AND HELP ME?" Adrian yelled from the room.  
  
Effie and Fury looked at each other then ran into the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
"That's Radament?" Effie asked skeptically.  
  
"Just help us fight!" Adrian ordered, as he and Fury were already busy fighting the Mummy. Adrian was muttering some sort of curse and Fury was leaping to and fro occasionally chopping at Radament.  
  
Effie looked in her pouch producing some daggers and threw them with quick agility at Radament. Then doing a back flip she kicked the mummy with all her might getting poisoned in the process.  
  
"What is that stuff?" Fury asked as Effie coughed running away from Radament.  
  
"Poison! Stay away . . ." Effie managed to choke out and gulped down a vial of health potion.  
  
"Look out behind you Fury!" Adrian yelled. Radament slapped Fury, who had not been paying attention.  
  
"Can't you summon something?" Fury asked the Necromancer. He remembered hearing that Necromancers had that power and wondered why Adrian didn't do that now.  
  
Adrian threw another curse at Radament and yelled, "I could but how will I know Radament might somehow control them, like all my other summoned?"  
  
"That's right!" Fury remembered. Then Radament hit him again because he hadn't been paying attention again.  
  
"You'll pay for that!" Fury said. And in a fury of rage, Fury ran after Radament waving his two war hammers in the air.  
  
He started chopping away at the mummy and Effie joined him and stabbed at it with some strange dagger like things. (Fury had never seen weapons like hers before.) Adrian also joined in and stabbed at the mummy with a strange decorated dagger. They all converted to physical combat and forgot their magic spells.  
  
Radament too confused, couldn't decide whom to attack because they were all chopping at him with a variety of weapons. Therefore he died because of his lack of quickness and Fury, Effie, and Adrian cheered loudly giving each other high fives.  
  
"That was easy!" Effie said.  
  
Adrian and Fury looked at Effie strangely.  
  
"What?" Effie finally asked.  
  
"You've seemed to have acquired a greener type of skin." Adrian said.  
  
"Not to mention the fact that you are now decorated in mummy remnants." Fury added.  
  
Effie looked down and realized that she was indeed still poisoned. She also had gross mummy guts all over her.  
  
"Uhg!" she yelled shaking some of the gooey insides off of her.  
  
"Look what I found!" Adrian yelled holding up some sort of scroll.  
  
"And look!" Fury said pointing over to a glittering chest. "Wonder what's in there." He pondered.  
  
Adrian and Fury ran over to it and carefully pulled the top open leaving the Assassin still dripping in entrails on the other side of the room.  
  
"Wonder what this is?" Fury said holding up a small strange looking book. "I'll have to ask Deckard Cain about it."  
  
"Hello?" Effie shouted annoyed. "Have you already forgotten about me? Aren't you gonna help me get this stuff off?"  
  
Adrian and Fury looked disgusted at the mess on Effie, then looked at each other as if thinking the same thing.  
  
"Nah!" They said at the same time.  
  
"I guess I should have expected as much. Hey if Adrian gets a scroll and you get a book, what do I get?" Effie asked wanted to get her share in the profit.  
  
"Hey look!" Fury said ignoring Effie, "It gives instructions on how to learn a new skill, specifically for Barbarians only!"  
  
"I wanna learn a new skill too!" Effie whined.  
  
"That's a great find!" Adrian said.  
  
"I wonder what this scroll says though. I can't interpret the writing."  
  
"You'll have to ask Deckard Cain about it. He knows practically everything!"  
  
"We'll before we go on anymore quests I need a bath!" Effie stated trying to wipe off more blood and guts from her body. Finally she gave up and started to make her way back to the entrance of the sewers.  
  
"Does she not know that it would be faster to take a town portal to get to town, than to waste her time walking back through the sewers?" Adrian whispered to Fury.  
  
"We should just leave her." Fury whispered back a mischievous grin on his face. Adrian smiled. It would be a funny little prank. Fury read a town portal scroll and immediately a portal to town opened up. He snickered watching Effie's descending figure in the darkness and beckoned Adrian through to the portal. They both jumped through the portal holding their laughs inside till they finally got to Lut Gholein.  
  
"I wonder when she'll figure out that we've left her?" Adrian asked smiling.  
  
As you can see, Fury and Adrian had already become fast friends.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
"WHY YOU LITTLE . . .!"  
  
Fury and Adrian said . . . "Uh oh."  
  
Effie starts chasing Fury and Adrian, yelling bad stuff at them as they run screaming for their lives.  
  
"Can't we negotiate?" Fury yelled behind him.  
  
Adrian said, "I'll buy us all drinks at the bar!"  
  
Effie stopped right away and says "OK. Let's drink."  
  
"You guys go set up the table while I take a dip in the lake."  
  
"Don't you need us strong men to watch over you, so you don't get attacked by any monsters?" Adrian suggested.  
  
"WHY YOU PERVERT!" Effie yelled.  
  
"Never mind. Fury lets go."  
  
Then they start running for their lives again without looking back.  
  
  
  
Later Fury and Adrian were happily drinking at the bar.  
  
"So Fury, you said that book teaches Barbarian moves huh?" Adrian asked.  
  
"You ain't touching my book!" Fury said stuffing it deeper into his backpack.  
  
The Necromancer mumbled to himself, "I wonder how Barbarians can read anyway?" Then he starts thinking of an evil plot. He starts searching through all his plant samples, and then says, "Fury! What's that?" And he points behind Fury.  
  
"What?" Fury says looking behind him.  
  
Adrian quickly squeezes two drops from these plants into Fury's drink. Fury looks back and says, "Yeah! That's were I pinned Effie with my javelins!"  
  
"But before I tell you about that story, I think I'll have something to drink."  
  
The Barbarian takes a sip of his beer and starts droning about how he caught Effie. Adrian looks on in disbelief, "That should have knocked him out in seconds!"  
  
Just then Effie walks in and sits next to them free of her gooey bindings.  
  
"Fury's such a braggart." Effie thought to herself. She then notices the beer in front of her and says, "Hey you guys already bought me a drink." And she takes a sip of it.  
  
Adrian yells "No! Don't!" But before he can do anything, Effie falls over. Fury looks on stunned, "Man! She can't handle that stuff, can she?"  
  
Adrian emits a small laugh and says, "I guess not."  
  
Then the Barbarian says, "I'll show you how much I can handle."  
  
"Waiter! Get me the strongest beer you got!"  
  
The whole crowd goes silent as Atma walks in with a big mug of steaming ale.  
  
"This is called 'Moon Glow'. The only person who can stand this is Geglash." Atma explained.  
  
Fury pays her the money and takes a big gulp of it, while everyone watches on in anticipation. He yells to Adrian, "Oh! That stuff's good!" And he falls down unconscious.  
  
"Good night Fury, Effie. I've got some reading to do." Adrian said smiling mischievously, as he pulled the book out of the Barbarian's backpack grinning.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Adrian was alone in one of the street corners clutching the book. Effie had been carried to her room and plopped unto her bed. Fury, who was too heavy for even Griez to lift, was left in the bar. Atma put a pillow under the Barbarian's head and Adrian guessed that was where Fury would be spending the night.  
  
He opened the book thinking to himself, "Now I can learn a Barbarian attack or perhaps one of their famous war cries!" But when he opened the book the words jumbled and formed new writing. The Necromancer read and immediately hit himself in frustration. The words had all changed into spells for a Necromancer. It seemed the book knew who held it. He shut the book disappointed that he wouldn't be able to learn a Barbarian attack. He shoved it in his backpack thinking he would look over it later and learn another move for a Necromancer. Or perhaps he could enhance his abilities. But there was no time to think. He was itching to know what the scroll of Radament's said.  
  
He walked into the center of town to see an old guy wearing a gray cloak leaning on a staff. He humbly walked over to the old man and asked, "Are you the one called Deckard Cain?"  
  
"Yes I am." The old man answered with an old-wise-man-like-voice. "And are you the Necromancer whom the Barbarian, Fury and the mysterious woman Effie found in the sewers?"  
  
"Uh, yes." Adrian answered wondering how fast news of his presence had traveled.  
  
"Then you have joined our forces in the fight against Diablo and the forces of hell?" Deckard Cain asked.  
  
"Yes." Adrian answered feeling very important.  
  
"Then how can I help you, O' Necromancer?"  
  
"I have found this scroll and was wondering if you could interpret it's writing because I cannot." Adrian said handing the scroll to Cain.  
  
Deckard Cain opened it curiously. When he saw the writing his face lit up.  
  
"Ahh! The lost Horadric Scroll! What a fortunate turn of events . . ."  
  
"You can read it?" Adrian asked. It was written in a language he had never seen before.  
  
Cain looked at the Necromancer proudly. "As the last living Horadrim. I ALONE have knowledge of its meaning. Now, to read the Horadric runes it bears . . ."  
  
He studied it intently for a minute Adrian peering over his shoulder curiously.  
  
"Hmmm . . ." Cain said stroking his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"The Horadric Mages, after finding Baal within Tal Rasha, magically sealed off his burial chamber from the mortal realm. Those same mages also crafted fearsome Horadric Staves and imbued them with the special power to open the chamber's hidden door.  
  
After nearly losing one to the thievery of a Rouge Sorcerer they divided all the Horadric Staves into two parts—Wooden Shaft and metal headpiece—hiding them separately to safe guard them. The Horadric foresaw our current plight and designed the hiding places to reveal themselves to worthy hero's like you."  
  
Adrian smiled proudly and puffed out his chest.  
  
"Collect both parts of the Horadric staff and unite them using the Horadric cube. Then you may enter Tal Rasha's burial chamber." Cain continued.  
  
"I will find the tomb." Adrian stated nobly. "And help Fury and Effie kill Diablo and stop him from releasing his brothers."  
  
He walked away ready to tell Fury and Effie of their new adventure and then remembered that they were probably still knocked out from the beers.  
  
"Oh well. More time for me to study." And he traveled back to the hole in the wall in the sewers and stayed there till morning.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hope you liked it! Please Review!  
  
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V 


	4. Golems!

Note by RedLady: I believe this story is getting underway nicely. In fact I think this is the best chapter we have done so far. So if you have come to see a dense Necromancer who loves to play pranks, a proud yet confused Barbarian, or a 25-year-old Assassin with wrinkles. Well, you've come to the right place! This story used to be called "Let's go kill Diablo," but since none of you seemed interested in that lame title we changed it.   
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4: Golems!  
  
  
  
  
"Hmm. This Golem seems interesting." Adrian pondered  
  
"Let's see. The clay golem is risen just like you would raise a skeleton, except not risen from a dead body."  
  
"Hmm." The Necromancer said to himself. And he picked up a pile of dust and started fingering it. He recited the incantation for rising skeletons.  
  
The pile of dust turned into a scrawny figure that looked a lot like a dirt skeleton.   
  
"What is this? This is not what I imagined at all."  
  
Then he continued reading and the book said, "You can control the appearance of the clay golem by creating a miniature sculpture out of the dirt."  
  
So the Necromancer spent all night creating a miniature sculpture that looked a lot like Diablo and painting it red. He stuck it into his backpack.   
  
"Hmm." He thought to himself. "This will scare them REAL good."  
  
Adrian went up to Drognan and bought a pink electric staff. He then went to sleep and set his alarm clock for five AM. It was a fetish trophy that made a rattling sound after you cursed it, to ring at a certain time. Its eyes would rattle like a maraca at the appointed time it was set.   
  
Early next morning, he raised the golem and put the pink electric staff in his hands. He went up to Effie's room and said in a deep, gruffly voice, "Good Morning Effie!"   
  
Effie woke up groggily and saw what she thought was Diablo shooting lightning inferno at her. She let out a blood-curdling scream and threw millions and millions of spiky disks at it.   
  
"Stop!" The Necromancer yelled in desperation. "You're gonna kill it! It was just a prank!"  
  
"Why you little @$$##$%%^ Necromancer!" She yelled with the look of a vengeful corrupted rogue.   
  
Just then Fury rushed in. And saw what he thought was Diablo about to shoot lightning inferno at Effie and he started throwing millions of javelins at it.  
  
"Stop it everybody! It's just my golem!" Adrian yelled.  
  
"Your golem? Where'd you learn how to do that?" Fury asked.  
  
"Oh just from the book I stole from you." Adrian said accidentally.   
  
The Barbarian's eyes start glowing a deep red. The Necromancer simply says, "Woops. Did I say that aloud?"  
  
Fury and Effie start creeping close to Adrian, pinning him to the wall.   
  
"Can't we make some sort of agreement?" Adrian says meekly.  
  
"What can you possibly have that we don't?" Fury asked rudely.  
  
So the Necromancer tells all about the scroll of Radament and how they need to find the two parts to the lost Horadric staff. He ends his speech with, "So you guys can go off and find the staff and take all the treasure while I stay here and fix my golem."  
  
He looked over at his "holey" golem.  
  
Fury gives Effie a sly look and says, "Oh no, we'll stay and 'fix up' the golem, and you can go find the treasure!"   
  
Effie who finally caught on said, "That's a great idea! We'll 'FIX' your golem."   
  
The Necromancer face went white as he realized what they were planning to do.   
  
Then Fury says, "If you don't agree I can always beat you up."  
  
"And I can always give you my . . . shock treatment." Effie said mischievously getting ready to release a lightning trap underneath the necromancer.   
  
Adrian ran out as if his life depended upon it. As he ran out of the town yelling, "I will come back for you Golem!"  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
"Poor Golem might not be here when he gets back!" Effie said menacingly, eyeing the golem.  
  
Fury looked over at her and was shocked to see how tussled Effie looked. She had just woken up after getting drunk and didn't really look her best with messed up hair and bags under her eyes. Fury finding her "just out of bed look" funny, snickered under his breath, but the Assassin heard him.   
  
"What's so funny?" Effie asked brushing some of her tussled hair out of her face.   
  
"Nothing." Fury said as Effie narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
"But you have to admit that was a neat trick!" Fury said changing the subject and pointing over at the clueless looking golem who still stood there in shock at being impaled so many times. He had even forgot to follow his master! Who was his master now? It must be one of these two people.   
  
"I need someone to practice my kicks on." Effie said ignoring Fury and walking up to the Golem who was still quite confused. Was this his master?  
  
Effie gave him a good hard kick and the Golem crumbled to the floor. No, that wasn't his master that's for sure. Maybe it was the other person, but he didn't have time to think because he turned into . . . dirt.  
  
"Well that was disappointing!" Effie said crankily. Fury looked over at Effie again and again noticed how she really needed to brush her hair.   
  
"You know, we're not really gonna let Adrian do all the work are we? I mean I'm actually looking forward to killing things." Effie said having second thoughts. "I don't really want to go on a treasure hunt though. I'd rather assassinate things."  
  
Fury looked at her suspiciously and for the first time realized that she may be some sort of assassin.  
  
Just then the sun went out. Murmurs were heard from the outside and Effie ran to where she thought the window was. Instead she ran into Fury.  
  
"Ow!" She yelped as she thumped into Fury's hard chest. "You OK?" Fury asked reaching out to her not really knowing what else to do.   
  
"Man! You must work out!" Effie exclaimed running her fingers over Fury's pectoral muscles.  
  
If it weren't so dark Effie would have seen Fury blushing from embarrassment.   
  
After a moment of awkwardness Effie remembered that it had suddenly gone dark.  
  
"Why is it so dark? I thought it was morning?" Effie asked.  
  
"I don't know." Fury said stumbling over some broken javelins and dirt on the floor. Effie finally made it to the window and looked out.   
  
"I can't see what's going on, but everyone seems to be confused." Effie pondered.  
  
"We should go talk to that wise Drognan guy. Perhaps he knows what's going on."  
  
"At least nobody can see how much we messed up this room." Effie said as her foot scraped against some debris on the ground from Fury's and her throwing escapade.  
  
"At least no one will see your hair." Fury said.  
  
"What?" Effie asked confused. "What's wrong with my hair?"  
  
"It just looked like a rat slept in it, that's all." Fury said not really trying to sound mean.  
  
"Huh?" Effie said still a little groggy. "Not to mention those wrinkles on your face."  
  
"WHAT!!!!!!! I don't have wrinkles!"  
  
"Yes, you do!" Fury argued. "Right under your eyes . . ."  
  
"You lie!" Effie yelled getting ready to go on one of her vengeance quests.  
  
"And those wrinkles that form when you get really mad on your forehead." Fury remembered.  
  
Just then he barely missed a blade being thrown in his direction.  
  
"I DO NOT HAVE WRINKLES!"  
  
"There is no reason to be ashamed of them . . ."  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Effie yelled in frustration. She ran toward Fury in a fury of rage. Unfortunately she tripped over something like broken pieces of the Golem.   
  
The only noise Fury heard was a big thud on the ground. Then he tip toed toward the door and said in a little voice, "I'll just wait outside."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Adrian was tiptoeing in the desert. He didn't want to meet up with those crazy birds again. He suddenly heard a low hiss.   
  
"I smell flesh," A voice said. "What are you doing in my territory?"  
  
"Oh, I'm just looking for the Horadric staff." Adrian answered a little scared.  
  
"Ah! An adventurer. I always invite adventurers for dinner . . ."  
  
"Well I am a little hungry." Adrian said still not knowing where the voice was coming from. "Shouldn't you invite me to breakfast instead?"  
  
"OK. Follow me." Out stepped a cat like woman and led him deeper into the desert.   
  
The Necromancer thought to himself. "This is a nice person."  
  
They soon came to a cave in the desert. "This is my home." The Cat woman said. She led him into the cave and prepared a meal of chicken on toast and hot cactus coffee.   
  
"Mmm. That smells good." The Necromancer thought. When they finished eating Adrian said, "I had no idea desert breakfast could be so good."   
  
"So tell me about your adventures, sir." The cat woman said.   
  
So Adrian started droning on about his life as the cat woman crept closer and closer to a lever on the wall. As Adrian started telling about meeting Fury and Effie, the cat woman interrupted him saying, "And now your life ends . . ." And she pulled the lever.   
  
The Necromancer ignored her and started telling her about how he scared Fury and Effie and pulled out his back-up golem and raised it. Just then the wall crumbled and hundreds of cat woman with spears and such jumped out and stopped at the sudden appearance of the Diablo/golem. The Necromancer looked up and saw the cat women and said, "Some family you got here."  
  
The original cat woman said to the Golem, "I'm sorry master. I had no idea this was your companion."  
  
The dense Necromancer finally realized what was happening and decided to use his back-up, back-up plan. He sure was prepared. He pulled a little string on the golem, which activated millions of detonators inside his body and it started burning. The main panther woman said, "Please don't be angry with us Diablo. We didn't know."  
  
Then the Necromancer did a ventriloquist act and made his voice sound like it was coming from the Golem saying, "I shall need a sacrifice!"  
  
One scrawny little panther woman walked up and bowed her head before the golem. The Golem did his strongest move (poke) trying to kill the panther woman.   
  
Then Adrian said in his ventriloquist voice, "You must sacrifice yourself because I am not strong enough to kill you." Then Adrian added in, "You shall have a great spot in hell for this."  
  
So the panther woman killed herself and the golem walked onto the body. Adrian said, "Now give me a map of Maggot Lair so I can find the staff. After all I do need to resurrect my brother, don't I?" One of the panther women solemnly walked up and gave him a map. Then the Necromancer yelled without throwing his voice, "BONE WALL!"  
  
The golem trying to copy his master did the same thing. A shield of bone started surrounding the Necromancer, but not the golem. After all golems can't talk. They are just made out of dirt. The Necromancer yelled, "Corpse Explosion!"  
  
The corpse under the golem exploded, exploding the golem, releasing all the bombs inside him. After all the rubble and the explosions stopped, Adrian picked up all the armor and gold lying around. He then suddenly felt stronger and knew how to control his golem better.   
  
"Woo Hoo!" Adrian yelled to no one in particular. "Who cares if they are going to 'fix' my other golem. I could always make a stronger one."  
  
Just then the sun went out. But Adrian didn't notice.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Effie and Fury both set out ready for adventure.   
  
"Do you think Adrian knows where to go?" Effie asked.  
  
"I'm sure he has his ways. He is a Necromancer you know." Fury answered looking up ahead. At least it was cool without the blazing sun, yet it was hard to see as he scanned the area for any monsters.  
  
Just then a couple of Sand Raider's started attacking them. Effie kicked them and as a final move made a couple flames surround them, killing most of the Sand Raiders. Fury hacked at them with his axes yelling war cries at them every once in a while. After they were all dead, Effie continued with the conversation.  
  
"Yes but we didn't know where the Claw Viper temple was till Drognan told us." Effie admitted.  
  
"We didn't even know there was a Claw Viper temple till Drognan told us." Fury pointed out sarcastically. "You're not worried about him are you?" Fury teased.   
  
"Of course not." Effie said with a glimmer in her eye. "I just want to get him back for that prank he did this morning. Which reminds me, I need to get you back for this morning as well."  
  
Just then some sand maggots attacked them. Effie got out some fire potions and exploded them while Fury had fun jumping on them. After there was nothing left of the bugs except their guts Fury asked, "What did I do this morning? I thought the golem was Diablo too, about to shoot you with lightning inferno! I was simply trying to save you!"  
  
"You were!" Effie said almost teasingly with mock admiration in her voice. "When I become a damsel in distress, I'll let you know."  
  
Fury looked at her confused. Women gave him a headache.   
  
"But I wasn't talking about that!" Effie said scanning the horizon. "I was talking about that little comment you gave."  
  
"About the wrinkles?"  
  
"YES!" Effie said annoyed feeling her face. "I don't really have wrinkles do I? I'm only 25. I'm not supposed to have wrinkles!"  
  
Then she stopped standing in front of Fury. He looked at her in confusion.   
  
"Now be honest." She said seriously. "Do I really have wrinkles?"  
  
He raised his eye wondering what he should say.  
  
"Am I not the most gorgeous creature you have ever seen?" Effie asked teasingly striking a seductive pose. Fury scuffed the dirt uncomfortably. Fortunately for Fury, some Sand Leapers leaped toward them and again they began to fight.  
  
Then some Hell Buzzards provided aerial raids and some more bugs joined the group along with a couple more Sand Raiders.  
  
"They always attack in groups, don't they?" Effie growled annoyed.  
  
After all the monsters where easily killed Fury speculated, "I wonder why we haven't run into any Panther women?"  
  
"Why? You wanna date one?" Effie teased.  
  
"No. I just know that they are prominent in these areas."  
  
Effie shrugged then her eyes narrowed as she realized something. "You know, this is actually boring. These monsters are almost . . . easy!"  
  
"Yeah. I had more trouble with the corrupted Rouges in the West than I am now." Fury answered.   
  
"And I was expecting a challenge!" Effie murmured, her eyes downcast.   
  
After the two walked in silence Effie said, "Too bad Diablo won't be easily killed."  
  
Fury nodded saying nothing still looking out for another ambush. Effie continued to talk. "Because if he was, he would have been killed already and they wouldn't have had to hire me."  
  
Fury stopped in confusion. She had been hired? Perhaps she truly was an assassin. Effie continued walking not noticing she had lost her companion. Fury ran up to catch up with her.  
  
"Look!" Effie pointed to a ruined like temple structure.   
  
"I guess that's the temple." Fury admitted. They stood outside for a while staring at the crumbling structure. Finally Effie broke the silence, "You know, I really thought that was Diablo in my room today. I thought for sure I was dead meat."  
  
Fury not knowing what to say just stood there.   
  
"Now it's good to know I don't have to do this on my own and have people to help me." Effie said patting Fury on the shoulder. "That's the real reason I was worried about that awful Necromancer. When I think of fighting Diablo, well, it really scares me. That's all."  
  
Fury simply said, "Don't worry about it. Diablo doesn't stand a chance with people like me after him." He smiled puffing out his chest proudly.  
  
Effie turned away smiling to herself. Fury seemed to always be so confident and proud.   
  
"Come on." She said playfully. "We've got some oversized serpents to kill. I never did like snakes."  
  
And they both walked into the temple with their weapons ready and there spirits high.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
"This map is interesting." Adrian said after walking an hour in circles. "If my map skills are correct then I'm standing right on top of the maggot lair."   
  
Adrian looked down at his feet and saw . . . a bunch of sand. "Huh. That must mean I'm up-side down." He started walking in the opposite direction and heard a burping noise. Then slurping and bubbling and other noises you don't want to hear while alone in the desert. He turned around and saw a bunch of green goo bubbling out of the ground. Then a bunch of little baby maggots started scurrying out, and moved over to where a bunch of vultures were, to eat some dead meat.   
  
Adrian shot a bone prison around them and landed a meteor on top of them. He looked down at his gloves and realized they were what caused this phenomenon of the meteor, and decided to ask Fara about it later. He also realized that where the baby maggots had crawled out of, must be the maggot layer. He shot an ice bolt at the goo turning it into ice realizing again that the spell came from his gloves.   
  
He walked over to the frozen slime, slipped, and fell 10 feet into the maggot lair. Then his map crumbled into dust. He stood up awkwardly and looked around and saw a bunch of dome like passageways with green, slimy doors.   
  
Then he heard some skittering and thousands of maggots and bug swarms started running after him. Then he heard a deep voice from all around him saying, "We are the swarm. Get out of here or die!"   
  
The Necromancer peed in his pants and said in a very weak voice, "Can I have the Horadric scepter?"   
  
"You mean that little piece of junk." The swarm said. "You have to give us something in return. We want some fresh meat that we've never tasted before.   
  
Then the Necromancer said, "OK. If I don't come back in five minutes, you can eat me."  
  
The swarm agreed and he cast a town portal and walk through it. When he got back to town he deposited a big pile of gold and said to Atma, "Give me some of your finest meat." He washed his pants too.  
  
Ten minutes later he walked out with a big barrel of meat and said to himself, "That's strange. It's darker than usual."   
  
He walked back into the town portal.   
  
The swarm said, "You are late! We get to eat you!" Then the swarm saw the meat and they all ran towards it causing the cave to collapse. And out popped the Horadric scepter. He looked at what was left of all the bugs and meat and said to himself, "I'm good."   
  
He suddenly felt stronger and knew how to control his golem better.   
  
He said in a crazed voice, "I've defeated two armies! Beat that Effie and Fury!"   
  
He opened a town portal and walked back to see how his first golem was doing. When he saw his ruined golem he devised another plan. He started building a golem that looked like Deckard Cain and started booby-trapping the room while laughing manically to himself.  
  
When he was done he went up to Fara and asked her about his gloves. Fara said, "These gloves are a very, very unique set item that give you all the sorceress's skills." Then she said, "I've been looking for these for a very long time. I'll trade you these boots that give you all the Barbarian skills for the gloves."   
  
Adrian thought to himself, "Fury's stronger than Effie and if I have these boots then I'll be stronger than Fury! Yippee!"   
  
  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
Review.  
  
Thank you.  
  
~Adro13 and RedLady. 


	5. Snakes and Pranks

RedLady: We are back. Sorry it took so long. I'm so disappointed. Why do not many people leave reviews? I thought this was an excellent story. Are we bad? Does it not appeal to the public eye? I don't understand. (Yes I am complaining. He, He.) So um, review if you are reading this. If you don't like it then please tell us how we could make it better.   
  
  
  
  
Chapter 5: Snakes and Pranks  
  
  
Effie and Fury walked in silence into the temple. It was dark and nothing stirred. They walked deeper and deeper into the cave.   
  
"I wonder why we haven't run into anything creepy and slimy?" Effie whispered. Fury put his finger to his lips, but something had already discovered their presence.   
  
"Whats ares yousa doing here in oursa templesses . . . " a voice spoke whispered harshly from the darkness.   
  
"We've come to kill you!" Effie yelled. "If you are the ravenous Claw Vipers that is."   
  
An angry raspy growl was heard from the darkness and suddenly millions of pairs of eyes lit up in the darkness. The eyes gave off an eerie yellowish glow and both Effie and Fury gulped nervously as the eyes let them see the vast amounts of the snake like monsters.   
  
There were so many surrounding them and they all gave off hisses making it impossible to think strait.  
  
"It's been nice knowing you . . ." Fury said wearily. "You didn't have to tell them we were here to kill them." He added.  
  
"We're not dead yet. And why lie about killing them. It was probably obvious anyway."  
  
Effie and Fury stood back-to-back getting ready for the attack. Effie pulled out two strange metal devices and concentrated on her foes. Fury pulled out his trusty throwing spears and started yelling some strange words in his own language over and over.   
  
"Hey I don't know what that means, but it makes me feel stronger." Effie said.   
  
"It is an ancient war cry we use to encourage our troops." Fury explained.  
  
"You'll have to give me a history lesson later. Right now we've got snakes to eliminate." And with that Effie threw a make shift lightning trap into the crowd of Claw Vipers and mind blasted them. The Claw Vipers returned the attack. Fury threw his spears with precise aim at any snake that came near him and continued to call out different war cries which either damaged the enemy in some way or made Fury and Effie feel stronger. Effie kicked, sliced, and mind blasted at any Snake she could.  
  
Finally the vipers pulled back leaving them in darkness. And they were left to rest for a second. The only light came from around them, as Effie and Fury's magic somehow lit the area. Still they could not see where the Claw Vipers had gone. Fury and Effie took advantage of their rest by catching their breath and taking sips of their health and mana potions.  
  
Suddenly hissed were heard all around them again. And the Claw Vipers formed a circle around them. The two heroes glared at the over sized snakes viciously. They waited for the next attack. Effie focusing her mind and Fury was going over war cries in his head.  
  
But the claw vipers did not attack. They merely stood there and chanted and hissed some incomprehensible language. Effie and Fury looked around warily.   
  
"Come and fight us, ya stupid snakes!" Effie yelled.   
  
"I don't think it is a good idea to taunt them." Fury said with clenched teeth.  
  
"Why? You do it." Effie said simply.   
  
"But I'm a professional." Fury said smiling and began to taunt them.  
  
The Claw Viper's attacked at once and then pulled back just as quickly. Effie and Fury only managed to kill two and the bodies were pulled out of the ring that the Claw Viper's had formed.  
  
"What are they doing?" Effie asked as once again the snakes began to chant and hiss.   
  
"I don't know."  
  
Then they suddenly stopped and everything was silent. They stood there with their eyes glowing and Effie could only hear her heart beating and Fury's heavy breathing.   
  
Then the biggest snake Effie had ever seen, took shape behind the Claw Vipers in front of her. She trembled with fear. She hated snakes. Especially big gigantic ones like the one forming in front of her now.  
  
"Um, Fury." Effie said her voice trembling while pulling at Fury's arm.   
  
"What?" Fury said annoyed.   
  
"Fury!" Effie said in a high-pitched squeak as the huge snake began to slither its way towards them.  
  
Fury not wanting to turn his back on the snakes in front of him simply said. "What do you want?"  
  
"Sa . . . Sa . . . Snake . . ." She said trembling.   
  
"Yes, I know. There are many snakes. Why are you all the sudden so worried?"  
  
But Fury was interrupted by the most horrifying and biggest hiss he had ever heard in his life. He couldn't help but turn around and saw the biggest snake he had ever seen in his entire life leaning over them.   
  
The Claw Vipers crept back into the shadows leaving this new huge snake to fight the two warriors. Yet still they hissed and chanted from the shadows making the two feel very weary as they glanced at the snake now towering over them.  
  
The towering snake seemed to be laughing at them, if snakes could. It turned a fierce red color and quickly lashed out at them. Effie who seemed dazed just stood there in fear. Fury pushed her out of the way just in time as the snake tried to sink its fangs into her head.   
  
He fell on the floor on top of her. She seemed dazed.  
  
"Earth to Effie!" He yelled at her. "It would be nice to receive some help here!" Fury said as he ran to a corner holding Effie in his arms.  
  
Effie seemed to wake up then, but still looked nervously at the huge snake. "What is that?" She muttered fearfully as they dodged another bite.  
  
"Special monster . . ." Was all Fury could say as he leaped upon the snake and jabbed a spear into its skin.  
  
The snake hissed in pain and shot venom at Fury. He was instantly covered in a green slime. "Use your traps!" Fury yelled as he stumbled to the floor shocked by the poison.  
  
Effie threw every trap she knew of at the snake till she had no more mana left to do so. Still the snake slithered quickly over to her and brought its tail down crashing her to the floor. She swiped her weapon with all her strength at the repulsive snake and it pulled away in pain.  
  
Fury was up again and threw all his spears at the monster. Effie threw some of the daggers she was holding in her backpack at it and it fell looking like a pincushion. Before it fell, it managed to spit venom out at the first person it saw, and the first person it saw was unfortunately Effie. She was instantly covered in the green slimy-gook and felt the life getting sucked out of her. She took a health potion, but still the pain did not go away.  
  
The remaining Claw Vipers, mad that their leader had been destroyed decided to attack at that time. Fury and Effie used their remaining strength to fend off the claw vipers. Somehow they managed to kill the ones that attacked and the others fled in fear.  
  
They came to a room where the sunlight penetrated. Smaller snakes fled from this room when they perceived the heroes.   
  
"Smash the alter." Effie said pointing to an altar in the middle of the room. Fury walked over to it and letting all his frustration out brought his fists swiftly down upon the alter breaking it in two.   
  
"They just make altars the way they used too, huh?" Fury said half-amused looking at the broken altar.   
  
A secret compartment was revealed and inside some sort of necklace dropped out. Fury picked it up and examined the tarnished necklace with a charm of a snake-like figure at the end.   
  
"We came all the way for this?" Fury asked and clenched it in his hand. Then he heard a snap and looked in astonishment at the necklace.  
  
"Umm, Effie?" Fury said. Effie looked over at him wearily with a headache.  
  
"Yes?" She grumbled.   
  
"I think I broke the Claw Viper Amulet." He said sheepishly.  
  
"What!" Effie yelled, but suddenly fainted from the snake's poison.   
  
She awoke with Fara and Fury leaning over her. She looked around confused. She was on the ground in the town square.  
  
"How did I get here?" Effie said confused. "You had been poisoned." Fara said simply. "But I am happy to serve you." Fara reassured smiling down at her.   
  
"Yeah. You had me worried there for a second." Fury added.  
  
"Even Fury here almost fainted as well." Fara announced. "He brought you here as well as the Claw Viper Amulet which seemed to be a little mishandled." Fara said with a smile on her face and handed the amulet to Effie.   
  
"I didn't almost faint. And I didn't know they made necklaces so brittle." He said sheepishly and helped Effie up. Then Effie looked angrily at Fury and hit him on the shoulder.  
  
"Ow!" He complained. "What was that for?"  
  
"You broke the amulet. How could you?"  
  
"I got it fixed." Fury argued softly.  
  
Just then they saw a familiar figure disappear into a portal on the far side of the town square.   
  
"Was that who I think it was?" Effie asked suspiciously.   
  
"I don't know. Was it?" Fury said not knowing what else to say.  
  
"I wonder what that dimwitted Necromancer is up too." She said and walked to her room.   
  
"At least the sun is restored." Fury said noticing the bright orb of the sky. He followed quickly behind Effie.  
  
Too bad they both didn't know that in Effie's room a surprise was awaiting them.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Fury was walking Effie to her room. When he opened the door a bucket of water fell on him. When he tried to move out of the way, he realized his foot was glued to the floor. Then holes opened up in the wall and started shooting Effie with water. Then Effie tripped on an uneven floorboard and rats started skittering out. Then the rats opened their mouths and started squirting out water.   
  
Effie and Fury were getting really angry. Then Effie said, "Fury can you take off your shirt?"  
  
Fury looked at her in surprise not expecting that particular request to come out of her mouth.  
  
"But why?" He asked confused.  
  
"Just give it to me; you'll find out." She answered.  
  
So Fury took off his shirt and Effie started furiously wiping up the floor and killing all the rats. After she was done, the room somehow looked like nothing had ever happened; yet Fury's shirt looked about a hundred years old.   
  
"How did you do that?" Fury asked amazed.  
  
Effie looked on proudly. "All it needed was a woman's touch."  
  
"What am I supposed to do with my shirt now?" Fury asked eying his shirt wearily.  
  
Effie answered, "Throw it into the sewers. I'm gonna go to bed and think of a plan against the '$@&*%+!' Necromancer."  
  
In the middle of the night Effie woke up to find that her bed had collapsed. She started making some special traps with water inside them. She made a special type of katar that had a retractable blade that couldn't kill anything. Then she went back to her collapsed bed. It was then that she found out her sheets had shrunk.   
  
She angrily tried to ignore the discomfort of the bed (thanks to the Necromancer's pranks) and relished the plan of revenge she had in mind for the Necromancer.  
  
  
  
  
The Necromancer came back to town with a bunch of treasure, sorted out all the good stuff, and laid the rest next to Fury and Effie's stash. When he got into the sewers to go to bed, he saw a really strange shirt that looked like Fury's. He went to Fara to repair it and put it under his armor.   
  
"I would also like a loin cloth and a lion helmet." He said to Fara.  
  
Fara explained, "We do not sell loin cloths, but here is some scissors and you can make one for yourself." Then she gave him a lion helmet.  
  
He then looked down at his map and realized that it showed the directions to some sort of tomb. 'I'll get lots of riches now.' He thought to himself greedily.  
  
He then went to Deckard Cain and gave him a new staff since his was old and knobby.  
  
"Oh thank you, Necromancer. And did you know that map you are carrying is the map to the Horadric Cube?" Deckard Cain said.  
  
"What's that?"   
  
"It's what connects the Horadric Scepter and the Claw Viper Amulet together." Cain explained in a somewhat annoyed voice.  
  
Before setting out for the tomb, Adrian asked Deckard Cain to tell Fury and Effie about the Horadric Cube.  
  
Adrian then put on the Barbarian helmet and went into the ancient tomb where the Horadric Cube was located.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Fury and Effie walked into the cave wondering what they would find.  
  
"Do you think this the right place that old guy told us about?" Effie asked.  
  
"His name is Deckard Cain. And yes I do believe this is the correct tomb. You didn't see any other tombs did you?" Fury said sarcastically.  
  
"No. Just a bunch of dead bodies." Effie commented.  
  
"Probably Adrian." Fury speculated. "You have to give him credit, he does seem to be a good fighter."  
  
"Perhaps . . ." Effie agreed. "Yet he is a horrible prankster. I actually have a plan to get back at him."  
  
Just then Fury stopped suddenly. Effie looked at him strangely.   
  
"What's wrong?" She said and realized he was staring at something inside the tomb.  
  
She looked to see that bodies lay everywhere around the tomb. Barbaric markings were scrawled on the wall and totem poles were set up around the tomb.  
  
"A Barbarian has been here." Fury said in disbelief.   
  
He ran to the back of the tomb where he heard the war cries of his homeland.   
  
"Fury, wait!" Effie yelled, but Fury quickly leaped toward the back of the tomb. Effie sighed and used her burst of speed in order to keep up with him.  
  
When Fury came to the end of the tomb, he was surprised to see what looked like a Barbarian fighting off some mummies. He looked on in disbelief as this Barbarian used skills he had not been able to learn yet. He looked on in awe as the stranger cried out the strongest war cries and quickly dodged out of harms way faster than the eye could see. Suddenly the Barbarian performed a move he had never seen before. He called upon the power of Whirlwind and quickly dazed all the enemies with ease. Then with quick agility he performed some sort of fierce spinning attack leaving all the monsters dead in an instant.  
  
Fury stepped forward to meet this new companion from his homeland. He extended his hand and the stranger looked at him curiously. "Well done, Barbarian." Fury said getting ready to shake the strangers hand. But there was something very familiar about this person. The stranger smiled mockingly at him and he stepped back surprised.   
  
"Do I know you?" Fury asked. Perhaps it was one of the people in his land he had met somewhere.  
  
"You don't recognize me, Fury?" The stranger said in an oddly familiar voice and took off his helmet so Fury could see him better.  
  
Effie stepped out from behind Fury with her eye's narrowed.   
  
"Adrian." She said darkly. Fury stepped back again surprised. This person couldn't be Adrian. He knew Barbarian skills. Only those who lived in his homeland could possibly know these skills. Yet when he looked at the person in the face he saw that it was indeed Adrian.  
  
"How is it that you know Barbarian moves?" He asked suspiciously. "I don't even know some of those moves!" Fury said grabbing the Necromancer by the shoulder's roughly. Perhaps this Necromancer knew some darker magic than he had given him credit for. He lifted Adrian off the ground demanding an answer.  
  
"Relax Fury!" Adrian said nervously. "I'm wearing boots that gives me all the Barbarian skills." Fury stared at Adrian for a second and knew he was telling the truth. He looked down at the boots and realized that the boots did look like they were a Barbarian style.  
  
He let Adrian drop and Effie stepped up to Adrian challengingly. "You might be posing as a Barbarian, but I still need to get back at you for all those pranks you played on us!" She took out some traps and got ready to throw them at Adrian.  
  
Adrian looked at her in fear. She looked like a demon from hell and like she was really gonna kill him. He backed up into the wall. Fury just stared at him with a blank expression on his face.  
  
"Wait." Adrian pleaded as Effie's hand pulled back ready for the throw. "I'm too young to die!" He yelled as the traps flew into the air toward him. He held his hand in front of him and felt the traps land above him and he was instantly covered in . . . water.   
  
He looked up surprised, but soaked. Effie and Fury were looking at him laughing hysterically. Effie went up to Adrian still laughing hard and patted him roughly on the back.  
  
"You should have seen your face!" She said in between laughs.  
  
Adrian looked at them and realized he had been tricked. Fury said, "That should teach you to play tricks on us!" He said seriously.  
  
"No more pranks OK?" Effie asked holding out her hand for a handshake. He was about to say how amateur Effie's little prank was, but decided against it. No matter what, he would always be the master of pranks.   
  
He shook his head smiling. "All right." He said trying to sound humble. "You got me there."  
  
"Here." Effie said shoving a katar into his hand. He looked at it shocked.   
  
"What's this for?" Adrian asked confused.  
  
"I don't know." She said and ruffled his hair playfully.   
  
He blushed and realized a girl had never touched him before.   
  
"Look!" Fury said pointing to a treasure chest on the side of the room. Effie ran over to it pulling out a bundle of different shaped keys.   
  
"Allow me." She said and began to pick at the lock. "I'm the master of picking locks." She said proudly.   
  
"Is that an assassin skill?" Adrian asked. Effie looked over at him surprised.   
  
"How did you know I was an assassin?" She said.  
  
"Come on. It's obvious. Only assassin's use these types of weapons." Adrian said holding up the katar she had given him.  
  
She looked over at Fury wondering what he would think of this news. He looked over at her calmly.  
  
"I figured just as much." He said non-chalantly.   
  
She turned back to her pick locking, wondering what her order would think if they knew her identity had been found out. Then she heard the satisfying click as the lock opened.   
  
"Ready to see what's inside?" She asked getting ready to open the chest.  
  
"Open it! Open it!" Adrian yelled excitably.  
  
She opened it quickly and immediately all these items and stuff flew up into the air landing all over the floor.  
  
"How did all this stuff fit in there?" Fury asked scratching his head.   
  
"Who cares!" Adrian yelled and immediately started grabbing anything he could find off the floor.   
  
They all began to grab what they could from the ground and fighting over a couple of items. Fury found an interesting Amulet and shoved it into his pack to be identified later.   
  
Soon the ground was bare and Adrian and Effie were fighting over the last thing: a breastplate.  
  
"You already have some armor!" Effie said pulling at the breastplate.  
  
"You probably won't even be able to wear it because you're so weak!" Adrian answered challengingly.  
  
"I'm not weak!" Effie said and too prove it she pulled at it even harder. "Besides I already gave you that katar! The least you can do is give this to me."  
  
"But it might have special powers." Adrian complained pulling it just as hard.  
  
"Will you two stop fighting?" Fury said in an agitated voice.  
  
"But she's trying to steal my armor!" Adrian complained.  
  
Fury walked angrily over to them and leaned over Adrian with a stern face.   
  
"I think she deserves the armor more than you." He said and seemed to grow a couple inches.  
  
Even though Adrian had Barbarian skills, he was still no match for the real thing and the Barbarian intimidated him as he seemed to grow more muscular with anger.  
  
Adrian let go of the armor and Effie fell backwards.   
  
"Of!" Effie said as she landed on her rump.   
  
She stood up and brushed herself off proudly. She stuffed the armor in her backpack and stood there triumphantly.   
  
"Hmp!" She said daintily and began to walk back to the camp.  
  
"Um, Effie?" Fury yelled after her.  
  
She turned around curiously.  
  
"Don't you think it would be faster to take a portal to the city?"  
  
"Yeah, remember what happened last time?" Adrian said teasingly.  
  
Effie gave Adrian the look of death and pulled out a scroll. She opened the portal and smiled sweetly at Fury.  
  
"I'll be waiting for you on the other side." She said innocently then looked darkly at Adrian.  
  
When she had gone through Adrian said, "I have a feeling she doesn't like me."  
  
"I don't blame her." Fury answered.  
  
"You don't like me either?" Adrian asked whiningly.   
  
"I didn't say that." Fury answered.  
  
"Somebody around here has to like me." Adrian complained. "I know there has to be somebody out there for me." He continued dreamily.  
  
Fury who had no idea what Adrian was blabbering about, stepped up to the portal.   
  
"Coming?" He asked Adrian.  
  
"Out of all the people in the world, there is bound to be one lady who will keep a lonely Necromancer company." Adrian continued, not paying attention to Fury.  
  
Fury sighed and stepped through the portal leaving the Necromancer to his thoughts.  
  
After a while Adrian realized that Fury had left and he began singing, "I'm all alone!"  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Adrian walked into the town portal, met up with Fury and Effie with Deckard Cain who was trying to identify everything. They all started yelling all these questions at Deckard Cain and he stopped them saying, "Fury is the one who freed me at Tristram. And his reward is for me to identify everything for free. But you two have to pay two hundred gold pieces each."   
  
So Fury calmly gave Deckard Cain his items while Adrian calmly took out two hundred gold pieces. Meanwhile Effie was searching frantically for any amount of money. As Fury and Adrian were getting their items identified she walked to her stash to see the mess Adrian had left there. She thought, "No wonder he has good armor. He takes all the good stuff and leaves the rags to us." She took the "junk" over to Fara and sold it all and got . . . 201 gold pieces. When she got to Deckard Cain he was looking at the magical inscriptions and the shapes and sizes and designs. He took out a book, the size of the computer you are looking at right now, and he started reading it intently.   
  
"Hmm." He finally announced. "This amulet gives all the Necromancer skills." And he handed it back to Fury. Adrian looked in horror as Fury started summoning skeletons and golems and casting curses. Then Adrian jumped up into the air yelling different war cries and doing exotic fighting techniques. Fury turned green with envy. Then Adrian and Fury started yelling and fighting each other and all Effie and Deckard Cain could see was a huge dust cloud.   
  
Effie walked over to Deckard Cain with her stuff and gave him 200 gold pieces to pay for identification of her stuff. As Deckard Cain was identifying her items he suddenly came to a shiny golden cube. He picked up his book and dropped it over the cube. Effie protested, "You're gonna squash it!"   
  
Then after a big flash of light the book was suddenly inside the cube. Effie looked at this miniature book in disbelief. Then she stuck her hand in the cube shrinking in the process. Deckard Cain said, "Just as I thought, it is the lost Horadric cube! Put the Horadric Scepter and the Horadric headpiece in the Horadric cube. You'll be happy to know there are other Alchemic uses as well. He then dropped a sapphire, a ring, and a thawing potion into the cube. It was transfused into a ring with a sapphire in it.   
  
"Here take this ring. This cube has arranged it so that this ring will make you resistance to cold." Cain said.   
  
Just then the king of Lut Gholein came hopping up to them.   
  
"There you are, I have heard much of your heroic efforts." He said. Then he explained to them how his palace was invaded by demons and the harem girls were dead.   
  
"Ah! I paid a hundred dollars to see the harem girls dance at the bar tonight. I want a refund!" Adrian complained loudly.   
  
Jereyn said angrily, "You'll find plenty of gold on their dead bodies."   
  
Then Adrian said with a sniff, "I shall give them a proper funeral."  
  
Fury said, "I guess you want us to clear the palace of these demons, right?"   
  
Jereyn replied, "Uh, yes."   
  
So Fury, Effie and Adrian walked into the palace ready for another adventure, right after Effie put their stash inside the cube.  
  
"Now this is our stash!" She said.  
  
When they got inside it was dark and damp. As they got deeper into the palace they heard a low muffled growl. Then a really big and fat monster came walking through the door. It was holding a really strong weapon. Adrian held Effie and Fury back saying, "I'm gonna beat this monster with the katar you gave me." And he started showing off his special moves both Necromancer and Barbarian. But every time he stabbed the monster it just made a small grunting noise and continued to walk toward them. Fury and Effie started laughing uncontrollably.   
  
Fury and Effie kicked the demon and it fell apart.   
  
Adrian said, "Whoa! How are you so strong and why are you laughing?"   
  
Fury said, "For one, that katar Effie gave you was fake. And second, that demon I killed was a golem I tried with my new Necromancer amulet."   
  
Adrian's face turned deep red and clutched his hand around the fake katar until it crushed in his hands. He ran deep into the palace.  
  
Effie muttered, "Sheesh. He can play pranks on us but we can't play pranks on him?"   
  
Suddenly they heard a scream and ran toward it to see Adrian chained to the wall with a lot of demons poking at him with sharp sticks.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
"Nice prank Adrian!" Effie said crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
  
"What! This is not a prank!" Adrian said panicked.   
  
Fury and Effie simply stomped on the creatures and Adrian answered sheepishly, "Wow. You are strong."  
  
"We know." Fury said and Effie smiled that Fury had included her.   
  
"How did you get trapped by these little creatures anyway?" Fury said making fun of Adrian.   
  
"It was a trap." Adrian answered disgruntled.   
  
"Sure." Effie teased.   
  
"You OK?" She asked seeing Adrian's contorted face of anger.  
  
"I just got poked with little sticks. How would you feel?" He answered sharply. Effie backed up wearily.   
  
"Just asking." She muttered.  
  
"Are you two coming?" Fury yelled back from ahead.  
  
"Looks like we are a little team again." Effie chirped.  
  
But Adrian was looking a pile of dead bodies.   
  
"Man, I'd hate to be the janitor of this palace? I wonder if any of those girls survived?"  
  
"How could they?" Fury asked. "I saw plenty of dead Rogues back west. And you saw the dead bodies in the desert."  
  
"Yeah. But these girls were defenseless." Adrian spoke up with a vengeance. "I'll get whoever did this."  
  
"I bet it was that guy claiming to be a friend to Drognan." Fury speculated.  
  
"Who's that?" Effie said. Adrian simply sighed and kept walking down to the basement of the palace.  
  
"I'd never guess I'd get to see the wine cellars of the palace." Adrian said with excitement.  
  
"I wonder why we haven't ran into any real monsters?" Effie said with her weapon drawn.   
  
"Look." Fury said suddenly.  
  
There on the floor were bodies, not of humans but of an assortment of monsters.  
  
"Did the guards kill these?" Effie wondered.  
  
"No." Adrian speculated. "These are fresh kills." Adrian said dipping his finger into the demon blood.  
  
"Some one else has been here." Fury said glancing suspiciously around.  
  
"Wonder who it could be?" Adrian said.  
  
"But how could they get in here?" Effie wondered. Jereyn's guards have always guarded the palace, day and night."   
  
The two men shrugged. "We just have to be on the lookout for anybody." Fury muttered.  
  
"If they are still alive." Adrian pointed out.   
  
Then they came to a room with a portal in the middle.   
  
"Wonder where it leads . . ." Effie whispered.  
  
They stepped through not hesitating.  
  
Adrian looked around amazed.  
  
"The Arcane Sanctuary!" He said with excitement in his voice. "I've always wondered about this place!"  
  
They wondered who or what would await them in this new strange environment.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
Pay attention to the little foreshadowing there at the end of this chapter. To answer somebody's question, yes there will be one more addition to this bandwagon of unlikely heroes. But you will just have to wait and see. I can't tell . . . 


	6. A New Hero

Thanks for all those great reviews!!!!!! We love you. Or at least I do anyway...  
  
~RedLady  
  
  
CHAPTER 6: A New Hero!  
  
(In case you are wondering Adro13 is the one starting out in this chapter. Whenever you see this.... ~*~... it means we have switched authors....)  
  
~*~  
  
Our heroes walked down some marble steps and met a couple of goat men praying to a strange circle marking on the ground.   
  
"Why it's a waypoint! Adrian exclaimed.   
  
"A way what?" Effie asked.   
  
"A waypoint! The ancient people placed waypoints all throughout sanctuary that were interconnected so you could travel anywhere instantly!" Adrian said excitably.   
  
"So why haven't we seen any before?" Fury asked.   
  
"Most of them were eroded or covered in sand and stuff" Adrian explained. "But since this place was isolated this waypoint stayed intact!"   
  
Adrian took a dusty, old, wrinkled, smelly, crumpled, crinkled, note pad out of his pack and started scribbling with a very big smile on his face.   
  
"He sure looks excited." Effie commented.   
  
"There's a lot to be excited about when you lived in a sewer all your life. Besides he probably read about it in one of his Necromancer books." Fury answered.  
  
Meanwhile some goat men were dancing around the waypoint. Effie turned invisible and pushed them off the ledge. The goat men fell, reappeared at the top, and fell again. They did this for a while till Adrian decided to put them out of their misery by summoning a fire golem who incinerated them.   
  
Fury said to both of them, "How did you do that?"  
  
"I don't know, I just suddenly realized how to turn invisible." Effie answered becoming visible once again.  
  
Adrian said, "Oh that? I could summon golems since I was two."  
  
Fury summoned 10 fire golems because of his amulet (which gave him all the Necromancer skills). Adrian looked very angry. Then Adrian yelled some incomprehensible words and killed all the fire golems. Effie sighed and said, "Here we go again..."  
  
They walked down a huge narrow marble passageway fighting occasional wraths and goat men.  
  
"This is too easy!" Adrian complained rather loudly.  
  
"They seem to be running away from something." Effie noted.   
  
After walking for a very long time, they finally came to a huge pile of vampires which were laying next to some open chests.  
  
"No! I was hoping to find riches here!" Adrian said. "My Necromancer books told of a very ancient relic in here!"  
  
He searched through every single chest turning them upside down. Finally at the very last small chest, a head toppled out.   
  
"Yes!" He yelled. "Thank Rathma! Whoever did this, left me the ancient relic!"  
  
Fury and Effie both holding their noses exclaimed, "Maybe it was left because of the smell."  
  
"You guys can't handle that?" He asked. "I'm glad I never showed you my head collection or you'd probably faint!"  
  
Then he gazed into the chest. "Besides that's not coming from my head. There's a loin cloth in here."  
  
"Yeah!" Fury said happily. "I can add it to my collection!"  
  
"Oh brother." Effie muttered.   
  
"Is there anything your collecting Effie?" Adrian asked.  
  
Effie smiled evilly and opened her cloak revealing an array of katars, some with poison dripping from their tips.  
  
"Um, Effie?" Fury asked. "How come you never used those when we fight the monsters?"  
  
"I didn't think you guys could handle the gore." She stated darkly.  
  
Fury and Adrian both gulped.   
  
  
~*~  
(Now starts my section after this section will be Adro again. Get it?)  
  
  
Fury pondered on how good Effie's fighting must be. He was curious now to see how she fought with those katars. It was strange how he never knew about them till now. How did they fit inside there without showing or stabbing her.   
  
He was brought back to reality when a body tripped him. It was of another vampire.  
  
"Stupid vampires!" He muttered as Effie and Fury stopped to wait for him.   
  
"I'll perform my 'find potion spell' so this body won't go to waste."  
  
"Here allow me..." Adrian said.  
  
And before Fury could say anything the corpse exploded in his face.  
  
"Ew!" Effie said gasping.   
  
Adrian found Fury's hands around his throat very quickly.  
  
He sputtered some words making Fury fly backwards landing on what looked like a high platform, but was really still level in this illusion Dimension.  
  
Fury looked around wondering how he got there and then saw the remnants of the Vampire and remembered. He walked huffily up to the Necromancer.  
  
"It was just corpse explosion." Adrian muttered fearfully. "He didn't have any potions anyway."  
  
"Please don't hurt me." Adrian said putting a bone wall between him and Fury.  
  
.....  
  
Effie meanwhile had let the two men fight and had wondered off alone.  
  
She came upon a red looking door.  
  
......  
  
"I'm not gonna hurt you." Fury promised slashing at the bones with an ax.   
  
"I don't believe you." Adrian said getting ready to perform some sort of poison spell.   
  
......  
  
Effie looked in wonder at the red translucent door. It looked like nothing was on the other side. It simply dropped off into space. She stuck her hand through it. She watched in wonder, as her hand seemed to disappear before her eyes. A movement on the other side caught her attention. It was her hand!  
  
......  
Fury finally leaped high over the bone wall and stared menacingly at the Necromancer.   
  
Adrian summoned a golem.  
  
.......  
  
Effie took a deep breath and stepped through the red doorway. She ended up on the other side!   
  
"Cool." She said and was about to go on her merry way when she remembered her two companions. She heard war cries and curses being muttered.  
  
"I better stop them before they kill themselves." She sighed. "Though I wonder if it would be better that way." She thought darkly. "Nah. I need all the help I can get!"  
  
And she went back to get them.  
  
........  
  
"My fire golem is better than your fire golem!" Adrian argued.  
  
"I can leap higher than you can!" Fury shot back.  
  
"My skeleton can shoot farther than yours!"  
  
"My war cries are more effective than yours!"  
  
"My . . . "  
  
"Will you two stop it!" Effie shouted.  
  
"Wanna arm wrestle?" Fury challenged.  
  
"You may think I'm weak, but I beg to differ." Adrian shot back and pulled back his sleeve.  
  
Effie watch in amusement as the two men strained to beat each other at arm wrestling on top of a pile of goat men. Adrian tried to curse Fury, but Fury yelled out one of his war cries.  
  
"No cheating!" Fury yelled.  
  
Adrian summoned a skeleton, which helped Adrian push Fury's arm down. Fury pulled away angrily.  
  
"Why you!" Fury yelled and pulled out his two packs of throwing spears holding on in each hand.   
  
Adrian pulled out his small bone wand along with a dead head.  
  
"Ok." Effie said annoyed. "Will you two stop it already?"   
  
Fury and Adrian charged at each other. Effie ran into the middle.  
  
"Why am I doing this?" she thought.   
  
Adrian and Fury accidentally knocked Effie over the edge. She grasped the edge screaming.  
  
They looked at each other when they realized what they had done. Both dodging to her rescue they bonked heads. Fury stepped in front of Adrian and pulled the small assassin up.  
  
She gave Fury a huge kick in the shin and Adrian a punch in the chest.  
  
"Are you two done now?" Effie said.  
  
"We are finished." Fury stated. "Aren't we Adrian?" He said glaring at the Necromancer.  
  
"Yes." He said looking down. Fury stepped up to Adrian. "And don't do corpse explosion in my face again!" He said gritting his teeth.  
  
"Ok." Adrian said sheepishly.  
  
Effie helped Fury wipe off the guts while talking.  
  
"I found some sort of door that teleports you from on side to another." She was saying.  
  
As the unlikely heroes continued on their way they didn't guess that another was soon to join their club.  
  
......  
  
She looked around the Arcane Sanctuary. A noise had distracted her. A scream. Was someone following her? Perhaps it was her imagination. It had to be her imagination. No one had survived here. She was the only living non-evil thing here. She had to find the one responsible for this.  
  
It was a man. A Sorcerer. It made her feel ashamed somehow. For now a days every magic wielder had turned evil. She had yet to meet anyone who had not been corrupted or killed. All her friends had died. But she brushed the memory away as if it was nothing but a pesky fly. She must clear her mind of such ruin and focus on the task at hand. Her friends would have wanted it.  
  
She killed every monster she came upon left and right. They were merely obstacles in the way of her true goal. Some of them ran away, but she did not ponder on them. Not even using the portals, she teleported from ledge to ledge using many mana potions.   
  
Finally she sensed his power. He was here, up ahead. She stopped for the first time feeling fear. Never had she faced another mage before. She heard a noise behind her. Someone was there. She didn't know if it was another monster or a human. It couldn't possibly be human, she told herself. It couldn't possibly be . . .   
  
She paused and then went on to kill the one whom had killed so many lives already.  
  
.....  
  
"See you just step through over here." Effie said disappearing through the red door. "And you appear over here." She continued from the other side.  
  
Adrian used his Barbarian boots (which gave him all the Barbarian skills) and he leaped to the other side.  
  
Fury, a little perturbed at the Necromancer using Barbarian skills, summoned a skeleton, ordered it to stretch from one ledge to another and walked across as the skeleton fell to its doom.  
  
Then it appeared in the sky and fell to its doom again. This went on for sometime as Effie, Fury, and Adrian watched in fascination.  
  
"Such fascination!" Adrian yelled and scribbled more in his notebook. "I wonder if I'll ever be able to come back to this place. I could spend centuries in here!"  
  
Effie just rolled her eyes and led the way, walking over bodies.   
  
"I wonder who was here?" Fury stated.  
  
"Will we ever catch up to them?" Effie asked annoyed. "I wonder if our warrior is invisible?"   
  
"Like you can be?" Adrian said. "Anyway, I hear something up ahead."  
  
They ran to the sound. There up some stairs they saw a woman wearing brothel clothing with a staff shooting various lighting and ice spells at a laughing sorcerer who was returning the same types of spells. She seemed to be having trouble as every couple seconds she gulped down a red health potion.   
  
......  
  
  
I was down to my last two health potions as I concentrated on the Summoner. My strongest spell at the moment was the ice spell. Yet the Summoner seemed to return every attack that I shot at him. Some one ran to my side and threw a blade at the Summoner. I looked over to see a small woman in black. Behind me a javelin was thrown over my head and into the Summoner's side. A small man stepped toward my other side. I realized immediately that it was a Necromancer. He shot an array of green blobs at the Summoner, poisoning the Sorcerer.  
  
I felt myself going faint. Were they illusions? Was I gonna die? Blackness surrounded me as I heard curses, war cries, and karate yells in the distant.  
  
  
  
~*~  
(Adro13's section.)  
  
  
  
I groggily woke to three people standing over me. One was really Strong and handsome. He was looking at me quizzically. The other was scruffy and scraggly; he was drooling absentmindedly. I figured if he took a bath he would look just as handsome as the other man. They both had strange smells coming from them.   
  
Then there was a short dark woman whom I almost didn't see because she blended in with the surroundings somehow.   
  
I did a back flip and readied my defenses.   
  
"Who are you?" I asked them wearily.  
  
The strong and handsome on said. "I'm Fury, a really good Barbarian. That guy over there is an amateur Necromancer. And she's a . . . a warrior. We . . . I mean mostly I defeated the Summoner."  
  
The Necromancer bonked him on the head with a stick that had feathers tied to it. And he kneeled down and kissed her hand and said, "I am Adrian and who might you be my lady?"   
  
"My name is Xavia and I am a sorceress who has come to fight Diablo."   
  
Effie walked up to the Sorceress and said "I'm Effie."   
  
"What's your profession?" I asked. "Are you a hireling?"  
  
Effie opened up her cloak revealing her katars. I gasped then gulped.   
  
"I learned about your kind in my sorceress school!" I said.  
  
"We are here to fight Diablo too. But do anything suspicious and you might find one of these in you while your sleeping."  
  
Adrian said, "Now Effie, surely anyone who is here to fight Diablo isn't gonna do anything 'suspicious'."  
  
Effie replied, "You don't know half the things these mages are capable of."  
  
But I don't think the Necromancer heard her because he and Fury were drooling again.   
  
"So . . ." I said uncomfortably. "Are you really an amateur Necromancer or is he just saying that to make him look better?"  
  
"Actually I'm an expert in Necromancy and Barbarity . . . And so is he."  
  
"How is that possible?" I asked. And they both told the story of their 'special items.'  
  
"Anyway time to go back to town."   
  
So they walked through a town portal.   
  
  
~*~  
  
  
"So how come we never saw you in town before now?" Effie asked the Sorceress suspiciously.   
  
"I was in the palace the whole time." The sorceress explained.   
  
"What?" Fury asked. "I thought Jerhyn wouldn't let anybody into the palace."  
  
"I've been in there ever since the brothels stayed there and went into hiding." Xavia explained.  
  
"So you're a brothel?" Adrian said his eyes widening.  
  
"No, I went in undercover as a brothel because I knew something was brewing beneath the palace."  
  
"You went undercover? Sounds like something you would do Effie." Adrian exclaimed. Effie eyes darkened as she looked at the woman. She was beginning to dislike her.  
  
"Now I must go find Tal Rasha's tomb and see if I can stop Diablo from releasing his brother." Xavia said.  
  
"I thought I was gonna do that." Fury stated. "You all can help me of course."  
  
"He's such a braggart." Effie whispered to the Sorceress. Xavia looked at Fury curiously.  
  
"Of course Fury's spells can never match my own!" Adrian was saying.   
  
"I could beat you any day!" Fury said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Adrian shot back and got into a fighting position.  
  
"Not in town!" Effie yelled. "You'd probably destroy half the buildings anyway!"   
  
Xavia left them as they were fighting. How could these three actually be heroes?  
  
She ordered a room and suddenly found Adrian following her.  
  
She faced him confused. He looked at her sheepishly. "You must have been in there for a very long time." He said looking down shuffling his feet on the floor.  
  
Xavia sighed. "When we were attacked I was knocked unconscious. When I awoke, everybody was dead!"  
  
"It must have been horrible." Adrian said. Xavia looked down uncomfortably. Would this Necromancer just leave her alone?  
  
"I must sleep." Xavia announced and went into her room shutting the door quickly behind her. Adrian looked at the door wishing he could see through walls.  
  
He sighed dreamily. Suddenly he felt a big hand pat him on the shoulder. "What are you doing Adrian?" Fury said cheerfully.   
  
"Nothing." Adrian answered.   
  
"Wanna go to the bar?"   
  
"Sure."   
  
"We can have a drinking contest. I'll win of course." Fury said.  
  
"You must not remember what happened last time." Adrian said amused.  
  
"I think I must have sleep walked that night because I found myself under the table the next morning. Strange isn't it." Fury said scratching his head.   
  
"What do you think of the Sorceress?" Adrian asked.  
  
"Um, I don't know. I always thought Sorceresses were weak."  
  
"You did?" Adrian asked.  
  
"Yes, I also thought Necromancers were weak."  
  
"Do you still think that?"  
  
Fury ran down the stairs. "Yes."  
  
And Adrian followed him determined to prove him wrong!  
  
"You lie! You know I could beat you any day!" Adrian said.  
  
"Well settle it over beer." Fury said.  
  
Xavia peeked out of her door as the two men disappeared to the bar.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Effie awoke to shouts and banging from beneath her room. She went downstairs and what did she see? Fury and Adrian fighting with beer mugs strewn all over the floor. One minute they were fighting and the next moment they were singing. Then she saw Geglash dancing around the beer mugs and a couple of other people she didn't know were dancing and singing songs.   
  
Then Adrian looked over and saw Effie. "Hey look everybody its Effie, our partner in crime . . . I mean heroism . . . I mean what do we do again?"  
  
Then everybody started shouting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!"   
  
And Fury and Adrian started fighting again. Then Effie went over to Atma and asked her what was going on.   
  
Atma said, "They've been going on like this all evening: Having contests and drinking beer every minute! I can't tell which ones a Necromancer and which ones a Barbarian."  
  
Effie thought to herself, "This fighting has got to stop." And she went up to Fury and Adrian and said, "GO TO BED!"   
  
"What?" Adrian said. "You lost your head? Well I'm in no condition to find it!"  
  
Then Effie started pushing them up the stairs and everybody started complaining.   
  
Geglash said, "Who thinks they can beat me?"  
  
Fury said, "Oh! Just one more Effie?" And she kept on pushing them up the stairs.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
She got to Fury's room. She pushed Fury into the bed and he immediately started snoring. She pulled off his amulet (which gave him all the Necromancer skills) and laughed evilly. She turned around to see Adrian already asleep on the floor muttering, "A hundred and ninety-nine bones on the wall . . ." She pulled off his boots wrinkling her nose at the stench and walked to the door. Turning around with her newly acquired items she whispered, "Goodnight Fury. Goodnight Adrian."   
  
"Goodnight Effie!" They said in unison still asleep.  
  
She laughed evilly and shut the door. Out side the Sorceress waited for her. The Sorceress saw the boots and amulet in her hand.   
  
"Uh! I'm not doing anything with their boots and amulet!" She said hiding them behind her back.  
  
"I think you should take them away." Xavia said and Effie looked at her shocked. "I believe everyone should not try and be something they are not."   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Effie made her way to the river with the Sorceress following behind. Effie threw the items into the river. They fell down to the bottom and the current washed them out to sea.   
  
"Good Riddance!" Effie said.  
  
Xavia turned around to smile at Effie, but Effie had disappeared.   
  
"Assassins." She muttered and went back to bed.  
  
  
The next morning Xavia woke to a sudden bang. Xavia and Effie made their way to Fury's room and when they opened the door they found the room was completely covered in bones.   
  
A muffled yell from Fury said, "I know it was you who stole my amulet!"  
  
"Don't come any closer Fury. I still have 198 bones left!"   
  
They heard another explosion and figured that Fury was throwing exploding potions.   
  
"Calm down you two." Effie said. "It was I who stole your items and I threw them in the river!"  
  
Then all the bones collapsed and they could see Adrian and Fury with completely stunned looks on their face.   
  
"Why . . . would . . . you . . . do . . . something . . . like . . . that." They both muttered exasperated.  
  
"Because you guys are always fighting and besides you shouldn't try and be somebody you're not!" Effie answered.  
  
The Sorceress looked over at Effie but she had disappeared.   
  
"Well?" Xavia said sheepishly. "Should we go to Tal Rasha's tomb now?"   
  
Then Fury and Adrian ran out of the room faster than you could say "quill rat".  
She looked back in the room and realized all the bones had disappeared and were now tucked into a neat corner of the room. She saw that it was Effie who had done this. Effie and Xavia walked out and saw Fury swimming in the river. And Adrian had a big fishing pole made out of bone, fishing out boots.   
  
Adrian was muttering and Fury was mumbling. Then Adrian pulled out a old, ratty, holey, scraggily, water-logged, sad pair of boots.   
  
"These boots I got for my fifth birthday!" Adrian said with a big smile on his face. "My mommy threw them out when I was being bad though."   
  
He pushed the huge pile of boots (which he had fished out already) on top of Fury. A lot of bubbles came up from the water and then Fury arose with . . . a small statue.   
  
"This is a statue of Arreat my homeland! This will be perfect for my safe."   
  
"What do you need a safe for?" Effie said quizzically. "Well I used to keep my amulet in their so Adrian couldn't steal it. But now that it is gone, I can keep this in there. It's worth a lot of money you know. If it should fall into the wrong hands, people might invade my homeland and steal our riches!"   
  
"All right, now that you guys are done . . . fishing. Lets go to the tomb of Tal Rasha."   
  
"I'll stay here." Adrian said. Fury looked over at Adrian and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Yes, well stay here. You two go and find the tomb and come back when you do."   
  
They went into Adrian's room and started creating a Golem, but Effie and Xavia didn't know this at the time.   
  
~*~   
  
  
*Well that is it for today folks!!!! My brother Adro13 doesn't feel like writing much lately. Maybe if you leave good reviews he might change his mind.   
  
What do you think of the new sorceress? I hope we made her believable. This story is just sooo funny to me! Its name should be changed to "Pranksters in Sanctuary" or something....* 


	7. Waddling in mud

Hey guys!!!! (And girls!) I have finally convinced my brother to continue with the story! Woopee!!!!! Anyway...  
  
Chapter 6: Waddling in mud  
  
  
Effie and Xavia walked uneasily in the Canyon of the Magi.   
  
"Do you think this is this the tomb?" Effie asked Xavia.  
  
"It looks to me like there are seven tombs." Xavia began.  
  
"We could explore them all." Effie added.  
  
"What? And get killed?" Xavia answered. "I seem to remember engravings on the wall while fighting the Summoner." She continued. "Now that I think about it, the engravings match the engravings on these tombs. The one in the middle was larger, so using common magical sense, that's the one we should go to."   
  
"Are you sure? Weren't some of the engravings different colors and one was smaller?"  
  
"You're just trying to confuse me! They were all blue."   
  
"Eh heh heh heh. You're right. I didn't really see any markings." Effie said sheepishly.  
  
"How did we get here anyway?"   
  
"Uh... walking."  
  
"Uh... oh yeah. So let's go into the tomb with the larger symbol now. Eh heh heh."   
  
So they walked in to the tomb and they fought a bunch of monsters. And some were special and some were hard.   
  
"These monsters are too easy!" Xavia said throwing ice bolts and fire bolts and lightning bolts.   
  
They came to a room with a ton of mummy's and a bunch of embalming vases. Effie walked onto the floor and heard a creaking noise.   
  
"What was that?" She asked nervously.   
  
"Jump!" Xavia yelled.  
  
Effie jumped as spikes came up from the ground.   
  
"Uh, thank you. I was almost impaled." Then she heard another creaking sound. In the meantime, all the mummies were just standing there.   
  
"Uh... Do you guys want to fight us now?" Effie said walking off the rigged floor.   
  
Just then an Earthquake shook the tomb and walls and ceilings and floors fell and rose and shifted. And out appeared a huge, giant, extremely large, and opposite of small mummy mage.  
  
Uh oh... Xavia said.   
  
"Don't worry," Effie said. She then split into two beings. "Effie #2 ATTACK!!!"  
  
"HOW ARE THERE TWO OF YOU???" Xavia yelled her eyes bulging out.   
  
"It's my special skill. Heh heh."  
  
She then threw a bunch of 'devices' at the smaller mummies and the devices spouted waves of searing flames. When all the mummies (except the sumo one) were fried, the devices sent little purple fluids into the dead mummies. The dead mummies promptly exploded and sent the sumo mummy flying backwards. Effie then ran up to him stabbed him 3 times, which coincidentally made 3 ethereal balls float around her. Then the three ethereal balls all traveled to her leg. Her leg also was burning, electrocuting, and freezing. (But for some reason, this caused her no pain.) She then kicked the sumo mummy with all her mysterious powers and it died and went flying through the wall.   
  
"I wonder what's in these pots?" Xavia asked after watching Effie beat everyone up.  
  
Xavia then proceeded to kick one of the pots. Immediately, a creaking sound was heard and green gas fumed around her. She coughed and wheezed and gasped. She said in a horse voice, "Maybe we shouldn't kick anymore vases open."   
  
But Effie wasn't there. Then she suddenly appeared next to the pot holding a bunch of gold in her hand. "Heee heee heee heee. There was gold in that vase and now it's ALL MINE!!!! Hah hah hah!" Xavia then turned over all the pots, but any contents found only consisted of a few dead rats and some embalming fluid.   
  
Then, Xavia discovered a room, which had been exposed by the Sumo mummy's body, (which Effie had kicked into the wall.)  
  
"Hey look! A room!" Xavia announced.   
  
"And look!" Effie said. "There's a strange... pedestal here."  
  
Xavia answered, "Well look. There is a hole in the pedestal."  
  
Xavia, using her magical "assumptions," put the Horadric staff into the pedestal. The pedestal opened up and a little tube popped up. Light from the ceiling collected into the tube and then lightning shot out from the pedestal into another wall destroying it. Magical Runes appeared above the hole in the wall, which they couldn't decipher.  
  
"Looks like we have to go back and get the boys. Maybe Adrian can read what it says." Effie said. Effie and Xavia went in a town portal to get Fury and Adrian.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, Adrian and Fury were back in their room in town playing in the mud.   
  
Fury looked down sadly, "Ever since I lost that amulet, I've forgotten how to make a clay golem."  
  
Adrian looked happily at his ten clay soldiers who were fashioned a lot like snow men. "A true Necromancer would never forget his skills." Adrian said proudly.  
  
"Can you remember any one of the hundreds of taunts we Barbarians use?" Fury challenged.  
  
"Um..." Adrian said thinking. The words had simply popped into his mind when he had been wearing the boots. Luckily he had remembered to write one of them down. He "peeked" at his cheat sheet and recited it...  
  
"Nikim Shikim."   
  
With that, Fury burst out laughing! "You call that a taunt! HAH HAH HAH!!! You said it all wrong!" He said slapping his knee causing some mud to splatter onto Adrian. "It's pronounced Neekii Shneekee."  
  
With that Adrian felt his anger rising at the taunt and a whole bunch of curses came to his head. He was about to "curse" Fury when he smiled slyly. "Oh yeah!" He challenged. "I bet you can't remember any of the curses of a Necromancer."  
  
Fury thought for a moment and realized that the knowledge he had simply known earlier had just as simply gone out of his head. Luckily he had written one down. He had tattooed it in a place no one would ever look. "I'll be right back." Fury said and stepped out of the room. He came back after reading his tattoo with a little difficulty but still felt quite sure of himself. Adrian looked at him skeptically wondering what the Barbarian was up to.  
  
He uttered a curse, which caused Adrian to go blind. (Only for a few seconds though.) Adrian rushed up to Fury angrily. "How do you know that curse?!?!?!!?" He wanted to know.   
  
Fury smiled proudly. "I had it tattooed on me." He explained roughly. Adrian looked at Fury and realized that the Barbarian was wearing nothing, but a loincloth.   
  
"Where did you tattoo it?" He dared to ask.   
  
"You don't want to know." Fury said mysteriously.   
  
Adrian's eyes widened, but just then the door busted opened and Effie and Xavia barged in to see the two men waddling in a puddle of mud in the middle of their room!  
  
"Huh?" Xavia's eyes widened.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!" Effie demanded.   
  
The men looked up sheepishly. Fury was wearing nothing but a loincloth and Adrian was wearing bone pants and a rat leather vest. But Effie ignored their attire and only noticed the puddle of mud in the middle of their room.  
  
"How did MUD get in here!?!?!?" She demanded.   
  
"Um... we were just making clay golems." Adrian spoke. "Well, I was making them mostly. Fury's forgotten how. Do you like my clay army, Xavia?" He asked the startled sorceress. She didn't answer.  
  
"Have you two been drinking again?" Effie wondered.   
  
Adrian tried to smell his breath. "Have we?"  
  
Effie sighed in frustration. "GET CLEANED UP RIGHT NOW!!!" She yelled sounding like a scolding mother. "We've got stuff to kill!" She added darkly.  
  
And she marched off angrily. Xavia hid a smile. "Perhaps I could help you guys clean up." She said a little too mischievously.  
  
"You will?" Adrian said hopeful, missing the mischievous tone in her voice. Fury looked at her, his eyes suspicious. Xavia raised her staff in the air and immediately a cloud appeared above the two men and their mud puddle. Adrian looked upward. "Uh oh." He said.   
  
A blizzard rained down upon them. They shivered, but it immediately turned into water as Xavia shot fire bolts up into the cloud. After the storm, Fury and Adrian were no longer muddy, but a lot wetter. They turned to the spot Xavia had been standing but she was no longer there. Instead she was walking down the hall stifling her laughs.   
  
Fury wrung out the bottom of his loincloth, while Adrian just stood there watching the place Xavia had just been. "That was cool." He muttered. A grunt from Fury was his only reply. After they cleaned everything, they left the room cleaner, but just a little wetter than before. Everyone met outside ready for battle.   
  
"There are some mystic runes written on the wall and we were wondering if you could read what they say, Necromancer." Xavia was saying. Adrian simply nodded importantly.   
  
Fury was holding too many weapons. He had javelins, a sword (or two), some throwing potions, a rusty dagger, a bow and arrows, an extra sash, a spear, and extra helmet, Wirt's leg, a skeleton bone (stolen from Adrian's collection-it was a really jagged one.), and a health potion... for just in case.   
  
"Hey Fury!" Effie mentioned handing him a helmet. "I think only Barbarians can wear this. I found it in the tomb." She continued. He took it and clumsily dropped it... on Adrian's foot.   
  
"OUCH!" Adrian groaned and hopped on one foot.   
  
"I thought you were wearing bone boots." Xavia wondered.   
  
"Oh yeah." Adrian said sheepishly. "And they are enchanted too." He said smiling.  
  
"Why did you drop it in the first place?" Effie wondered.   
  
Fury blushed, "I am over burdened." He mentioned.   
  
Effie convinced Fury to try and sell some of his stuff. He went over to Fara and only managed to part with his extra helmet since Effie had already given him one to replace it. Adrian meanwhile was explaining the magical properties of his bone boots to an uninterested Xavia, and Effie was practicing phasing in and out of the shadows.   
  
Finally they were ready to go to the tomb of Tal Rasha...  
  
~*~  
  
They went to the tomb of Tal Rasha. Killed Duriel. The end.   
  
(Just kidding.)  
  
  
  
"Come on Fury!" Adrian said. Fury said, "Ok," and waddled into the next room.   
  
"These are the runes you are talking about?" Adrian said. He looked at the runes, frowning, and said, "It's really hard to decipher this complicated old language. It says something like 'Giant bug on a rug.'"  
  
Effie said, "What? That has nothing to do with Tal Rasha! Look at it again, Adrian."  
  
Adrian looked at it again and after a moment said, "In... the... next room... lies your... doom."   
  
"What? That has nothing to do with bugs and rugs. How can you get something that different from the same runes?" Effie said.  
  
"Look at it one more time!" She shrieked.  
  
After another moment he said, "W+hat? Now it says something else. It says, 'The... Necromancer... is an... idiot... Get somebody else... to read me.'" He scratched his head. "What Necromancer? Was Tal Rasha a Necromancer?"  
  
Then the runes changed and Xavia gasped. "That's the writing of the Zann Esu!"  
  
"Well what's it say!" Fury yelled.   
  
It says "Tal Rasha was not a Necromancer and inside he lies with Baal's soul stone in his head."  
  
"Then let's go!" Effie commanded.  
  
"Is that a dead rat?" Adrian wondered and when no one was looking stuffed it into his pocket.   
  
As they walked into the hole Fury noticed their surroundings. "That's a lot of rubble. I don't even want to know what you guys did."   
  
Then they heard a huge growl. They went to see what it was and what did they see?  
  
A giant bug... on a rug.  
  
But then it turned out that the rug was thousands and thousands of baby maggots. Adrian pulled out a musty, dusty, old, smelly book and started looking at the inscriptions.   
  
"Ah hah! Just as I thought! That's Duriel, Andariel's partner in evil." Then Duriel jumped up and charged at them. He knocked over Xavia and she started shivering uncontrollably.   
  
"His.... c...c...claws.... m... m... make... you... cold." She stated between shivers. Then Fury started hitting Duriel with all his weapons. Effie split into two beings and they both hit at the bug with all their weapons. Adrian stood back and shot projectiles at it, cursing.  
  
Five seconds later Fury yelled, "Retreat! We are out of health potions!" (Since he had used his last and only potion.)  
  
Adrian yelled, "There is no where to go! The entrance is blocked off!"   
  
Xavia switched places with Fury using her teleportation spell and started shooting ice bolts at the huge bug.   
  
Effie yelled, "We gotta think of something fast or we are about to die!"   
  
Fury began throwing spears at Duriel from afar. But most of them bounced off harmlessly.   
  
Adrian suddenly had an idea so bright that it added +1 to his light radius. He opened a town portal and yelled, "Here comes the infantry!" The town portal shimmered and out walked ten clay golems who immediately began to pound Duriel. Duriel grunted and all of the ten golems, collapsed. Just then there was an explosion was so big that the people in Lut Gholein could hear it and Duriel's guts flew all around the four heroes.   
  
Fury wiping guts off of his face said, "Uh... what happened Adrian?"   
  
Adrian said, "Heh heh heh. I have put explosives in my clay golems."   
  
"That's a good idea." Effie thought to herself not wanting Adrian to know. Instead she yelled, "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN COVERED IN GUTS!!!"  
  
They walked into the next chamber and say a strange being with tentacles on his back, tied to a couple of pillars.   
  
"Oh hey Tyreal." Adrian said.   
  
"That's Tryeal?" Effie asked.  
  
The being said, "Good job heroes. You have killed Duriel and come to save me."  
  
"We have?" Effie wondered. "We didn't come here to save you. We came here to stop Diablo."  
  
"Unfortunately, Diablo has freed Baal and they have both gone to free the last Prime evil, Mephisto."   
  
"So if you untie me I could... um... help you."   
  
So they all cut off his bonds and he put a tentacle on each of their foreheads. Immediately the bug guts disappeared and they witnessed inside their heads how Diablo had come and freed Baal.   
  
"Who's that scrawny guy?" Adrian wondered.  
  
"That is Diablo's follower. I have no idea why he follows him, but Diablo seems to put up with him. And now I shall send you back to Lut Gholein."  
  
And he did so.  
  
A guy came up to them and said, "I just had a strange dream that I should take you to Kurast so get into the boat before I change my mind."  
  
And they did so.   
  
~*~  
  
YEAH!!! That was fun! I know it was a little slow in the beginning, but I hope you don't mind. ^_^ So as always review and we will be happy...  
  
~RedLady  
  
  
I'm writing fanfiction again. Heh heh. Hope you enjoy.   
  
~Adro13 ^ ) 


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